We have a wonderful relationship with Gracie's birthmother, Kristy. We feel very fortunate to be able to email, text, blog, send pictures and gifts, and visit whenever we can. There is a picture of Kristy hanging in Gracie's room. Gracie will always know who she is and will always have a special relationship with her. We love and admire Kristy so much, and are so grateful that she is a part of our lives.
We believe open adoption brings a lot of healing to everyone involved. We hope to be able to provide as much information to our children regarding their birth families and how they came to our family. We know that each child sent to this earth is precious and unique and comes with their own unique circumstance. We believe every child needs to know where they came from. Troy Dunn, an adoption advocate, said, 'you can't have peace until you have all the pieces' and we believe that with our whole hearts.
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A letter from Kristy, Gracie's birthmother
Dear fellow birthmom –
My heart is so full as I write this letter. I placed my sweet baby girl Gracie May in Jimi and Sarah’s arms in September of 2009. This is without a doubt one of the most difficult decisions you will ever make in your life. I will never forget those 9 months that I had with her. I will never forget that very special time in my life. Those moments hold a sacred place in my heart.
Jimi and Sarah were some of my strongest supports during my pregnancy. We became friends. We emailed or texted several times a week. They shared with me their preparations for the baby: when they picked a name, baby showers and when they decorated her room. They were very sensitive to my feelings and needs during that time. After I gave birth, they were very understanding and let me have my time in the hospital to grieve and love on my little one. I couldn’t have asked for a better few days in the hospital.
Placement was one of, if not the most, difficult day of my life. I remember being full of emotion. My heart was breaking. Jimi and Sarah were absolutely wonderful to me! They emailed frequently to give me updates. They sent pictures. They were very sensitive to my needs. We decided before the baby came that our relationship would be open and based on honest communication. And that has worked for us. We talk and email regularly. I see them every few months. We exchange pictures and presents on occasion. There is no pressure in our relationship from either side. I truly view them as some of my favorite friends! I love the relationship that we have. I love getting updates about my little one. I love seeing her grow. I love that they let me be a part of her life.
Jimi and Sarah are wonderful people! They are even more wonderful parents! When I see them with Gracie, it makes me so happy! People ask me all the time if I get jealous when I see Gracie with them instead of me. I always respond with a firm no! When I see them together, I am overwhelmed with love. They glow. They are an eternal family. They love Gracie so much. I know that I made the right decision. I know that this was God’s plan all along – to have Gracie come to them through me. I remember when I was pregnant I had a dream one night that I was with Sarah in heaven. It was in the pre-existence. Sarah and I were making a pact that I would help her start her family here on earth. I know that I am just keeping up my end of that bargain.
If you trust in your Heavenly Father and rely on him during this time, He will lead you to the family for your baby. He will help you every step of the way. You are such a strong and beautiful and courageous woman. You will make it through. My life is what it is today because of Gracie. I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Love, Kristy
PS – I am ALWAYS here if you have any questions at all. You can ask me anything about adoption, placement, etc. I am here to help. When I was pregnant, I had a birthmom that I asked questions to frequently. It always helped to know she was there and knew what I was going through.
